26 or so pills. I looked to Sarina, tried to talk to her. She was being so still... All moved but her eyes, which were wide and moving quickly. (I know I'll never forget that.) I got so scared... I was pacing back and forth, talking to Stephanie. 'Stephanie, Stephanie. Look at Sarina and tell me she's alive. She's dead...'
I put my face into the corner, and moaned something along the lines of, 'I'm in Hell, I'm in Hell. This is what it feels like...'
I couldn't look at her, I couldn't be near her. I felt like throwing up. And I did what I usually do when I feel in need of someone.
Stumbled to his house. Knocked on his window. Saw his beautiful face, he is so soft. 'I can't tell if they're dead or not... You're the only one I thought could help.' He held me so close, the sky was dark, I turned his hair over in my hand. He put on shoes, a hoodie, and came out his window. We went and we found them.
He stayed with us until 2 in the morning. I will spare the details, as my memories of those hours are jumbled to a great extent. I fear anything I tell you about then might be inaccurate.
Yesterday, I saw him on MSN.
'Its ok. i'd rather have been there and made sure you were ok then have not been there and something happened to you'
'it didn't bother me that you came over jasmine, if anything it was better that you did' 'you could do w/o out, is all' 'i could do without yes, but i'd still feel pretty bad if you were stoned and something happened and you COULD come ask me for help, but you didn't, cause you didn't wanna bother me, and something happened to you'
We talked about his girlfriend, who left him 2 weeks ago. Her name is Amanda.
'she seemed like a pretty nice girl' 'sometimes she was a b***h to a bunch of my friends though for no particular reason' 'she wasn't one of those "clingy-youre-only-mine-now" girlfriends?' 'no, i told her i wouldn't stand for whining whiney girls tend to get under my skin 'specially when they're complaining about missing someone and its all they can talk about *twitches at thought*'
We talked about another one of his girlfriends, from grade 7. I don't know her name. She lives about an hour bike-ride from where he does. 'distance always seems to hinder relationships..' 'yup, it does. long distance relationships always look so awkward. <<;' 'Yeah they sure do preetty funny that night i was out so late with you, sarina was always sayin that i should kiss you, and that we should go out and whatnot'
Sharks.and.Danger · Fri Apr 07, 2006 @ 01:39am · 0 Comments |