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So very bored. I could not sleep, yet again... so, I wandered the icy yard in search of puffballs as the blue finally bled through the pale sky. Watching Pride & Prejudice as the sun comes up seems to be a new thing to partake in with me. Megan and I do it all the time. I wish it was summer again. Summer is always nice to stay up all night, watch the sun come up, then walk around. Of course it is nice, no one has to get up and do anything. On the other hand, with winter and late fall, it is always so dark whenever I feel it is suitable and then I have to go to school. I've been writing a lot more than usual. I like to record my thoughts. All of them are mostly about Austin. Austin, Sex, and Politics. How can a person want something so much, and yet have no desire to pursue their wants? How can it be possible? I want him so much, and I have no drive to chase after him. I refuse to settle for failure, on the other hand I will not go after success. So, it seems I am at an impasse. I have been at an impasse since one warm July night, bouncing along through Georgia on a rusty old school bus. I need to get out of the middle. I need to embrace failure or actually attempt something. I wish I had the simple courage for the latter. I have nothing to lose. Why not? And so I leave at this. Katelyn Erin is actually going to make the first move? Why yes, yes she is.