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Warning: alot of this is depressing...


PandaBear418
Community Member
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Happiness
Fire. Chaos. Destruction. Hopelessness. Fearfulness. This is the vocabulary of my life. I don't know what to do because I'm trying to make everyone happy, but it seems nearly impossible.

Every now and then, I get a break from this chaos. yesterday afternoon I finally had a break. A break to be happy and giggly with someone I care about. That is the best happiness I could ask for and right now, I don't just feel like my world is crashing down all around me. I feel my life crashing down around me as I float on a cloud above, numb to the horrific events happening below; like watching a homicide through a window.

Everything is wrong in my life right now and the only thing that has saved me from going down with my life is my cloud. This cloud of happiness has pulled me out of the fire as you could say. This cloud of joyfulness has protected me from the obstacles crashing down in my life just so I wouldn’t be pulled down with it, but soon the cloud will rain down it's humidity and disappear and leave me for the chaos to wash over me until the day the humidity returns in the sky to form a cloud once again and save me for just a little while longer.

My life is kind of like a life-size tower of little child-safe blocks. I can try to hold these blocks together, but no matter what I do I cannot care for every single block and soon enough, it will fall. I am trying so hard to keep the tower of blocks from crashing, that I have no time to care for myself. My cloud that has lifted me up in order for me to finally have a break and understand that I can’t do anything to save the blocks. They are going to fall and I have to understand and accept the blocks for who they are and what they are going to do. Then, when I am given more blocks, I will understand them just a little bit more. I continue to build a stable tower, but it keeps falling. Soon...soon I shall learn. Soon I shall learn how to organize these blocks to make a more stable tower that will last a little while longer than the last one. Therefore, I will not have to care for it as much as the last one and I will have just a little more time to figure out who I am and what I have to do to care for myself.

The only things that are important in life are those you care about including yourself and the happiness that will keep you safe as you deal with the hardships with others and yourself.

The greatest thing in life is to be happy with the ones you care about. Be thankful for the times you have with them. Be positive and savor those happy moments. It will make the world feel like a better and a more happier place.




 
 
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