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If i have been so horrible then why stick around?

i have been such a terrible friend then why do you always stay around.
i am with you, but ignore you.
i am rude and talk back to you.
i promise to change but never do.
i say i love you.
do you believe?

i lie to your face.
i stab you in the back.
i always turn my back on you.
i love you!
dont you believe?

i want to stay your friend.
i want you to trust me again.
i want to know your always ok.
i truly love you!!
do you believe!?

i am such a trader.
i am such a liar.
i am cheap.
i am cruel.
i still love you!!!
YOU DONT BELIEVE!!!!!!!!

I AM SORRY IF THIS HURTS YOU! I REALLY LOVE YOU.

THIS IS TO ALEX AND LANCE. I HAVE HURT YOU BOTH WAY TO MUCH. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! NEVER FORGET MY FACE. I MAY BE GONE SOON. BUT NEVER FORGET WHO I AM!!!!!!!!!