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Bubbling_Stream Vice Captain
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 Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 8:37 pm
-//Intro//-
Welcome!Grab.Some.Punch!
(Available...Probably never. ^_^)
Hello and welcome to [Insert the Guide Name here (once we make one)]! Well, I'm here to explain what this whole thing is...So, buckle up, don't bring small children, and if you are prone to Heart Attacks or Seizures...STAY AWAY! You have been warned.
Well, this guide is here to help you "Worship" the Almighty Spork. There will be at least 5 steps, maybe more! The Spork is always throwing more at us! I hope you enjoy reading this Guide, and I hope it helps you on your pathway to "Spork-i-ness!"
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 1:08 am
-//Step One//-
Join.The.Spork.Guild!
Yes, that's the first step to worshipping the Spork. Join the guild! Easy, no? Most of you should have already done this step.
There really isn't much to it if you haven't (but if you haven't, why are you reading this? Investigating? Well, if so, I applaud you. Always good to get to know what the guild is like). Anyway, simply go to the Front Page, and click "Request to Join". It's blue, and fun to click. I promise.
Those of you who are already members can skip this step.
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I R Lemmy. Hear Meh Roar. Captain
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I R Lemmy. Hear Meh Roar. Captain
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 1:25 am
-//Step Two//-
Read.The.Spork.Shrine.Intro/"Positions"/Etc.
Really, this isn't hard either. Sure, you have to do a bit of reading, but we don't do that enough these days!
Anyway, it's good to be educated about what you are worshipping, right? If you think that also, you can go here...OMG! and read up! Really, it's quite interesting! (We promise!)
...
Or if you don't find it interesting...You should still read it. Why? So you can have a chance to write and "Ode to Spork"...and other things that will be explained in the next few steps! Plus, what's the point of blind faith?
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 1:32 am
-//Step Three//-
Read.The.Spork.Scriptures.
These wonderful scriptures, by our wonderful "Vi" have been entertainment to many. They are also educational! I highly suggest reading them, and give them 2 thumbs up! (I'd give them 3...but...I'm no alien!)
They include....Lots of stuff, which you can find by going to this craaaaaazzzy link!
Have a lovely time reading some more! You know you love it. Shut up. >__>
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I R Lemmy. Hear Meh Roar. Captain
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I R Lemmy. Hear Meh Roar. Captain
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 1:44 am
-//Step Four//-
Sign.Up.To.Be.A.Utensil.
(Optional)
Now, to do this step, if you choose to, will include going back to the place that's linked in Step Two.
Now, go to the post that says, "Utensils". Re-read it (if you forgot what it was) and then try to decide if you want to be one. If you do, just post it there...We will most likely let you! Unless...We don't for some reason! In which case, you are just a Straw.
Please note that if you do NOT do this, you are a straw. Yesh.
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 1:52 am
-//Step Five//-
Which.Is.Complete.Bull!
(Meaning, you don't have to do it.)
Part One: Get an Orange and a Glass of Water.
Part Two: Drink the orange, and eat the glass that the water is in, WITHOUT spillin' the water. Or pouring it out. The Spork will tell me if you do.
Part Three: Stick 2 straws (forks, spoons, etc..Depending on what you signed up as) up your nose, and run around screaming, "I'M A [insert role here]!!"
Part Four: "Get down on your knees 'cuz you can't pray on your feet!"
Part Five: Get up! Because you can't live just on you knees. Unless you have no legs...In which case, I hope this didn't offend you.
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I R Lemmy. Hear Meh Roar. Captain
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