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Just going to put this out there (I'm sure It'll help me feel better)

It's not like me to wish somones death, or to be capable of hate for that matter. Even if you're mean and you don't really think much of me, I still wish you the best of luck in all your achievments. (Refering of course to Brea, the only person I know who activly dislikes me.)

But only one person I wish the death of, not because I hate this person, or even hold a grudge against, but I am haunted with thoughts and feelings that really shouldn't even exist.

4 years ago I met a girl. She was the most beautiful, smart, and intersesting person I ever met. Her name was Whitney, but everyone called her Wuff, because of her former nicknam Waffles, dubed to her by her friend morgan (another associate of mine whom I really haven't kept in touch with.) She had dark brown hair that was straight at the top, but curled at the bottem. She had hauntingly beautiful eyes that sparkled like gems, yet she had large sleepy eyelashes that contrasted the cool aurora of her eyes themselves.

Anyway, we got along nicely, but she invoked an almoast fear into everyone, so I was never up front with her about how I felt. Years went by, my feelings grew ever stronger. Finally, we were almost the best of friends, and she was mature enough for me to come forward with the truth, and tell her how I felt, even if she new from someonelse (I made it obvious the way I talked and looked after her

Then, my parents decided to move. it was over. All my hopes and dreams of living with this girl forever were gone. I moved to cali, with not a parting word. She found out later that I liked her, and she was repulsed. Just to be spiteful, she dated other people who hated me, and never talked to me again.

So, here I am. Shoudn't I try to forget? Live and let live? I wish it was that simple. My heart barley functions. Nobody sees me as I once was anymore. I used to love all and take care of myself. Now look at me. I could care less about affection with others. Even now, I don't believe love exists. Because It try to be as attractive as I can, and I've yet to find someone who gives a flying ******** about me.

I know what your thinking. Quit being a Drama Queen. It's not the end of the world. It's over now, let it go. Yeah, these thoughts have gone through my mind over and over again, but everything still reminds me of that girl. But even her death I suppose wouldn't even change how I felt. I guess I'm doomed to be haunted by feelings of what could have been...

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