...i am confused. Overwhelmed. i can't put words to the situation.
i am hurt. Very hurt. When she kisses me i know i am still capable of feeling some love...but i hurt. i know these are two separate entities, however, what can i do? i feel aimless, alone. i'm scared.
i guess that enwraps it all.
i am scared.
...can she protect me? Will she keep me safe? i don't trust her. She will never have anything to give me that will lead to utopia. i have sacrificed my world for her, and she will never have anything of comparative worth to sacrifice even as a gesture of committment. i feel a bit bitter. These memories plague me. She defines herself in sex. Her promiscuity will always be alive. She cheated on me. She lied to me for years continuously, deeply. How can i possibly still love her?
Writing this isn't quenching my yearning for answers, or even for a release. i need some water. i need some sleep.
...i just wish she hadn't thrown me away all of those times...i know i will never feel special because of her choices and desires then.
...god damnit.
i am hurt. Very hurt. When she kisses me i know i am still capable of feeling some love...but i hurt. i know these are two separate entities, however, what can i do? i feel aimless, alone. i'm scared.
i guess that enwraps it all.
i am scared.
...can she protect me? Will she keep me safe? i don't trust her. She will never have anything to give me that will lead to utopia. i have sacrificed my world for her, and she will never have anything of comparative worth to sacrifice even as a gesture of committment. i feel a bit bitter. These memories plague me. She defines herself in sex. Her promiscuity will always be alive. She cheated on me. She lied to me for years continuously, deeply. How can i possibly still love her?
Writing this isn't quenching my yearning for answers, or even for a release. i need some water. i need some sleep.
...i just wish she hadn't thrown me away all of those times...i know i will never feel special because of her choices and desires then.
...god damnit.
