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hmm... do i want to ... or not....

yep... shouldn't have

pretty damn pointless

no.. this is ridiculous

you weren't on all day

but i'm the one who's not online as much anymore
do you even realize how much that doesn't make sense?

why'd you have to go right now anyways?

you never said "hey, i wont be online as much because.... " whatever it is

you know matt's here all month, and i've been working every night again, plus, i was working that part time job from 5-7am during the week and 5-9am on the weekend

why aren't you on?


no, you know what? i dont care

yes, that's right, i absolutely do not care
i don't care to the point that i'm going to finish this bottle off and fall asleep without allowing myself to worry about it
because i dont want to care

i'm not anywhere near you, i can't see what your doing, i can't hear your deceiving voice, nothing like that, and instead of trying to trust whatever answer you give me, i've already just decided that its a bullshit one and i really dont want to hear it
if it was something important, you already would have told me, and if you didn't, then that just means we really have no relationship
so why the hell talk at all?

the only thing you've been doing for me is give me a reason to be pissed off
i'm tired of expecting that one day we can have conversations like we did before the whole mess started, its not going to happen
you blame everything wrong with your relationships on me
yet.. when i tell you he's doing/saying some things that you need to pay extra attention to, you tell me i'm jealous or that's not the case
well fine, don't ask me to tell you what i think then
not that i'm going to offer it anyways, i've given up on that after the last time you got mad

if you want to talk to me, then ******** talk to me and stop bitching
there's plenty of other women bitching me around, and i'm not sleeping with you/going out with you/and your not having my child, so i dont want to hear it from you too
friends dont b***h at their friends

last night most definately sucked.. i don't even remember falling asleep until it started to get bright outside...
oh well.. that final wasn't that hard anyways

i dont think i've wanted drugs this bad since last x-mas

maybe its the holiday stress mixed with finals?
i dont know... its bad.. i'm twitching out
i just need to go to sleep, me and matt can watch charlie brown x-mas, he'll fall asleep.. and then maybe i will

or.. i could end up with marijuana after matt went to bed and stay up until 3am playing video games by myself...
********
at least i ate i guess

and finals are now over