Sometimes, on days like this, it gets really hard for me to put my thoughts in any order. They keep spinning in circles, round and round like a whirlpool until I can't breathe.
I shouldn't watch amazing, mind-altering movies when I'm like this.
This place, this city, is poisonous to me. I never want to come back here. I never want to sleep in that bed again. I'm only here to get my hair cut and get more pills, then I'm gone. God damn it, I envy Jen. I want an apartment. I don't want to have to come back during summer. I want a job. I want freedom. I want safety.
This feeling is exactly what it was like to date her. I hate it. I hate knowing that what will really bring me happiness is out of reach for perfectly legitimate reasons. I hate saying that, because I know it sounds like I place everything on his shoulders, but it's true.
I want to tell him about my biggest secret. I want to see what he'll think, if he'll accept it, if he can help. No, not help. Just understand.
I want to do something extreme.
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Sentimental Musings
A place for me to express the thoughts and feelings that I wouldn't mind if the world saw.
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Hachikai
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Kiss me in the sunlight on a windy day
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