Im honestly so tired of all this bullshit. I try and make friends, but I was proven tonight that nothing I could ever do would really matter. No one i could ever talk to would possibly remember me with probable cause. Im like a shadow that sits in the corner of a persons mind. You know Im there, but yet even with knowing that im here, you deep down honestly dont care. I have no lasting impression on people, Im just a shadow that hide in the corner, never to be remembered, but always seen. All the rp's I'm in dont need me at all, they move along fine without anything I could possibly do. I often wonder if I just make people angry with my presence, because whenever people talk to me, they seem hesitant, like they would rather not be talking to me than have to sit there and listen to me speak. Im not trying to pull a pity party, Im not trying to make everyone that knows me feel bad, its just that I'm tired of being so easily forgotten. I will never gain individual acceptance, because on a personal level a lot of people dont like me, and I understand that with a whole heart, I understand that people are entitled to differences of opinion, but why must so many despise my being? What did I do to you in order to make you hate me so much that you feel leaving me behind has come second nature? Im tired of pretending to be somone Im not, tired of pretending to be happy all the time when I really just want to die, die a horrible death away from anyone and hope no one ever finds the body because a funeral for me would be a waste too, because its pointless to bury a shadow. Yesterday someone told me somthing that I hardly believe and Im not going to say what because I dont feel like talking about it, but know this, I doubt what this person was serious, because i think this person has another more important person in their life than me. Ive said enough now I think, you people should understand now that Im tired of ignorant bullshit, Im tired of being so easily overlooked. I just want to die.....to get away from all this pain thats cause by the beating vessle within me.
Xera Oni Community Member |
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Community Member
But if there's anything I can do to help, just tell me and I'll do what I can 3nodding