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And even though we can't be together.
I cross my heart and promise to stay true.
But I'm still loving you girl.
From half way across this great big world.
Dream of love.
Dream of love.
It's only a dream.
Of love.
I don't know.
My heart is beating very slowly.
I laid on my floor for twelve hours now.
Tomorrow I'm going walking all morning again.
I feel sick and I'm shaky.
I still can't tell if there are ants on me or not.
I cleaned my room last night, but it's kinda dirty again.
At least to my standards.
Everyone's asleep maybe that's why I decided to get up.
It seems like my nails aren't even growing anymore.
They've been stubs for the longest time now.
I don't know how I'd feel if I lost my stress reliever.
I'd have to turn to some other unhealthy habit.
That's just the horrible individual that I am.
It's really hot.
My dog is barking at something. I wonder if it's some deranged mass murder.
That'd be interesting.
Oh...
I got called insane today by Vanessa.
We were talking about movies.
I like gore and she likes horror.
She called me a gore porn lover.
She laughed at how I get scared by scary movies but I can stomach gross things.
We talked about Hostel and Saw and stuff, she was disgusted.
It was at that time that I brought out the finale.
A Serbian Film.
Needless to say she felt like vomiting.
The look on her face was priceless.
As is everyone else's when I show them the song.
Newborn porn an infant being ********.
We talked about bands.
I brought up Infant Annihilator.
She told me I was sick, and asked what's up with me and babies.
I just feel there's nothing as hardcore as ******** a baby.
Most people just can't stomach it like they can everything else.
At least that's what I've been noticing.
I've noticed a lot of my problems too.
I'm a very unhappy guy.
I don't know where I was going with this.
I don't know where I was going with a lot of things.
I always try not to plan things.
Because I know I'll just end up here again.
Alone in a room.
I think I might give J.C. away..