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Sleepless nights, unforgiving dreams. Every night Ive been going to bed early. But I never can manage to fall asleep until 1 or 2am. Then I get up at 5:30am and go to school all day. I dont know why I cant sleep. Prolly has to do with the fact im worried about this whole girl situation. Im just waiting for it to fall apart. Plus today I realized that im tired of the attention. I dont want a relationship. ive gone so long without one, I dont feel the need to have one now. In my heart, I dont feel anything for the other person. Now I dont want any of this to come off as overly depressing. Its not meant that way, and in no way/shape or form am I depressed about any of this. I just dont simply like her the way she wants me to. Im tired of wasteing my time wondering if she's going to call me, or whatever other nonsense that might go through my head. On top of that... I dont care or need to know that some guy kissed her and that she's mad at me for not being angry. Good for her. Have at it, enjoy yourself is pretty much what I said. I also dont care about her new tongue peircing she got (with me in mind). Sounds kind of callous I know, and I dont mean it that way... but why should I care? Because she wants me to? Ive never been one to change my ways for someones else. I wont change for her, or anyone. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. I wont ask you to change for me. I wouldnt even consider the idea of asking someone to do so. Its not right in my mind. Im sure a bunch of people will read this and think im being a dk, or a typical guy... or whatever nonsense and typical responses you might think. Maybe i am those. Maybe im not. All I know is that this is the way i am, and im tired of playing the Drama game. Whats so important about the title of a boyfriend, or girlfriend. Its a title. What does it do for you, other than constrict you. I have no need or want for such a thing. If you must have such a title... do not include me in your sentiments. And also, dont have your friends leaving me messages about 'how much we are meant to be together'. Now thats ****** disturbing. /rant

Posted by: Jodo195 Fri Jan 21, 2005 @ 07:22am

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Gwenlyne
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Commented on: Sat Jan 22, 2005 @ 04:52am


	i whole heartedly agree with 3nodding there is no reason for you to feel the same about another person just because they want you to feel that way. if that person was so in love with you they would understand and let you be who you are. i love my bf with my whole heart and it would crush me if he ever stopped loveing me the way i love him but i would not stand in his way if he were unhappy in our relationship. i love him enough to want him to be happy and able to live his life the way he deserves to live it because hes a wonderful person. keep being yourself .. dont ever change who you are to suit someone else it is WRONG just as you've said

Commented on: Sun Jan 23, 2005 @ 04:38am


	Hmmm..... sounds to me like you should end "it" (whatever "it" is) You are absolutely right, you can't change your feelings around just cuz someone else wants you too, but here is the main reason I think you should drop it. Does this girl have real feelings for you? If she does, and what you just said is truly how you feel, then you are actually being really cruel by not ending it, because it's just leading her on and toying with her and all that, you see what I'm saying? Even if she knows how you feel, it's still like playing with her heart cuz she thinks that she can change the way you feel for her, and she can't...... Don't get me wrong, I'm not critisizing, it just seems like everyone in the whole world thinks it's better to stay together at all costs, and that's totally NOT true! Only if both people truly, deeply love each other. There is also nothing important with the boyfriend/girlfriend title either. Or fiancee, or even husband, and wife. It's not the title that makes the relationship important or special, it's the deep feelings two people have for one another that make it special, so if those feelings aren't there, those titles are all totally worthless! I don't think you're being a "dk" at all, I think you've maybe come to accept the way you truly feel, and are ready to move on, and I say good for you! whee I hope you find something real next time! wink heart**

CyKa
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