Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

latly things have been off. im not sure were to begin but me and that guy con are friends sort of. we talk but that's about it. sometimes it feels as if he's watching over me then he'll say something that will have me think other wise. He's confusing. In his classes he has a lot of my friends in. it's funny really. He doesn't understand why I never tried to get reveange on him when or since he's been at central and he doesn't understand why I don't hate him. Truth is revange wouldn't please me maybe because im not that kind of person or maybe im a wimp. who knows. My mom doesn't understand why either. Im a fool though because I trust him. I don't know why but I belive what he say's even though he's a very good lier. Im crazy though.

I found out another thing but I'll go into that later. I got to go to the movies yesterday with toan. He called me up himself and asked me that's the first time he's called me like in two months and also the frist time he invited me out to the movies like in forever. I was just so excited and happy. Well his sister was going to the movies with her friend and he asked to go and didn't want to be the 3rd wheel so he asked me if I wanted to go. the funny thing is he's sister wanted to see a different movie which was hide and seek. so his sister went to see "hide and seek" with her friend and me and toan went to see "Assualt on presint 13"
the funny thing is me and him were alone in the theater for the 30min cause we were 30 min early for the film. when the movie started only two other guys came to watch the movie. Toan even let me rest on his arm for a while. I don't think I've ever been so happy. It's been a while since I've had some alone time with him. I never wanted that feeling to end.

Today has been a little bad for me. I had this idea toan wouldn't pay to much attention to me today because I got to close. He didn't pay much attention to me. Im sorry kathleen but here is what I feel and you may know it. I think toan like's my frined kathlen. He pays a lot of attention to her and he didn't even want to walk by me to day also the fact that she got annoyed with his shoe strings made him go out and buy a new pair. He pays attention to her the way he doesn't to most people. I might be reading to much into it but that's how I really see it.

This pain I feel is also to much. If you have seen or read up book 7 of chobits you'll understand what Im about to say. Im freya from chobits. Freya found the special someone just for her but she couldn't because the guy already found his someone just for him and it was not freya. I belive elda (chi) ends up with hideki who is her someone just for her. I wish I was elda instead of freya because most of the time I feel like im going to just break down. It hurts when im away from him. ON the block days at my school it hurts when I don't have a class with him on the wensday. It hurts cause im not his special someone. crying crying crying crying crying crying