so my life is pretty much effed up to the max. well i wouldnt say to the max but its pretty stressful. i have no time for people. hell i have no time for myself. do i have time for things like gaia. no. so why am i here. because my mindless self has decided that once i have time to do something i take advantage of it and not do what i am supposed to do. like live for example. ive signed my soul away already to the theatre. its gone. two more weeks and ill have a soul again. but by then my soul will be too damaged and too weakened to even care about the mundane and pointlessness of life.
but honestly speaking why did i sign up for this. i dont know. i dont even really like annie all that much. i guess it gave me something to do. or maybe i believed that my skill would be good enough to get a good role. did i get one. eh im chorus. i do a lot in it though. so i guess its ok. but is it really. who settles for something that has made me cry over it. im tired of trying and failing. honor choir. i try and try. do i get in and have the experience of my life? nope. i have nothing to show for it. ooo look theres the kid who didnt make honor choir. i audition for annie. get a mundane role but it still provides some happiness.
it may seem that im being really pessimistic and i am but really can you say that i should shut up. no you cant. you know why? cause you dont go through what i do. a lot of the people on here just do this for fun and cause they think its so awesome to be posting things that give them some sort of feeling. do i do it for that reason? yeah i guess you can say that i do. but i also do it to get away from the mediocrity known as life. wouldnt you settle for something just to get away from six hour school days and after that doing a six or seven hour rehearsal schedule for a play that obviously isnt ready to be put on stage or for a show that is putting the theatre into thousands of dollars in debt. right now its about $8000.
anyways on top of that i work on weekends for a paycheck that is minimal for an employer who pays crap for a job that requires the people to be really patient and have a bunch of stamina. on top of that during the weekdays i have to find time to do my hours and hours of homework only to find i copy it from someone else therefore breaking the rule of plagerisim and therefore committing a felony from the school. between that i think there is something called sleep that should be found in there.
there is no doubt certain types of people would say i do too much. and they would be right. i do a lot of stuff. but what do the people do who say that to me? they do nothing. oh sure they go to school and maybe have a job. but do they take at least 8 classes and have at least four of them be honors and AP classes. i doubt it. ok maybe they do but who knows. its just a whole gay process. its almost the end of my junior year and soon im going to be a senior. after that i make the decisions that will affect my whole future. college. where do i go? what do i study? should i take a year off? all of this is really hard to handle. but hey what can you do about it. you suck it up and do it. im not complaining. but i just do this to get stuff off my chest. now do you think you can handle a life like mine?
chesterlepanda · Mon Jan 22, 2007 @ 12:35am · 0 Comments |