Lately I feel weak, and rather uncaring about things... I feel horrid at the same time. But it's almost like I am getting used to the pain... I think my heart is freezing over because of everything. Yet it's in quite a bit of pain...
My heart feels so sensitive... I guess it has broken one to many times... Just the slightess wrong is done to me, and I feel like crying. It doesn't even have to be significant... It just hurts... For almost 3 days straight my heart has been hurting... Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
Life has apparently screwed me over one too many times.
Today my boyfriend said he would be around at 2:30pm and for me to call him. He didn't pick up. It hurt... but I shrugged it off.
I am becoming used to the pain... Especially since it's becoming so common. I feel my heart slowly freezing. My will has been whithered away... I try to struggle, but it still keeps taking me. I look on at the world and the things that surround me... And the things that I once loved, just don't seem worth it... So much pain... So much complicatedness... All I wanted was to be happy and loved and to never be forgotten. But lately I feel sad and unwanted... and neglected to say the least.
It's not good to feel this way...
Pain is a way to know you are alive... When you start going numb... It means you are dying.
Am I dying inside? Can anyone make me feel alive again? Please don't let me die... I want to feel the pain... I want to live... Please help me before I die... Please love me before I die... Please make me happy before I die... Please... Don't forget me...
I feel my love fading... As my friends suffer I just shrug... I don't seem to care anymore. Slowly my feelings fade away... a little more each day.
I don't want to be like this...
Don't let the darkness take me...
Help me...
HELP ME!
Don't let me die!
HOLD ME! I NEED YOU NOW!
DON'T PUSH ME ASIDE
KEEP ME ALIVE!
BECAUSE I AM DYING INSIDE!
My love for you... is the only thing surviving.
Please, don't let that die as well...
Please, don't let the girl you love fade away...
Please, don't let me die, just please... Don't let me die...
[To my short story]
Kalystal Chaos · Wed Feb 28, 2007 @ 09:44pm · 2 Comments |