Ever since I began this new path in my life, I noticed some things have changed, while some others don’t, but what’s most noticeable of all is my Control. I have been getting cravings for Pop, but I have been using all my will to suppress it, and drink more water. Not only this, but my Anger & Bitterness have been suppressed as well, and I no longer waste those feelings on others who are worth next to nothing. I have been feeling good about myself ever since I gained Control, and I have been attending my GED class everyday. I have also sent messages to some people from my past, telling them how I truly feel about them, and how I have let go of using Anger & Bitterness in a childish way, but until they atone, they don’t deserve my forgiveness. If I became a True Christian, and with all my heart truly served God, it would be a different story, but that’s not the case, I still haven’t found God yet. In any case, until the people from my past actually feel remorse, and apologize to me truly, I will not waste my time or thoughts on them.
Lately, former classmates from Monroe High School found me on Facebook, some stick around to chat, and others just say “hi” & take off. School in general, I always was the outcast, the oddball of the class, but since I always behaved well, the teachers never forgot my name. I was also vain about asking for help, and with my eye vision being bad when I sit in the back of the classroom. The worst thing is I being vain about speaking up about anything, but I have overcome that obstacle, and now I am not the least bit afraid to say something or call someone out on something they did. I always did have trouble making friends, and it was always awkward for me to get teamed up with someone for partner projects. Because superficiality & fame was so important to others, I kept my distance from most people because they aren’t looking for what I’m looking for, and they would only hurt me in the end. The only 3 people from High School who are still my good friends are Erica, Jake, and Kenny. Erica I seen in 6th Grade, but I started working with her in Elder Beerman, Kenny was always nice to me from day 1 Freshman Year, Jake & me sat together in Math during Junior Year, and things took off from there. If there is no one else, so be it, their loss, it doesn’t affect me, and they can live lonely the rest of their lives with fake friends.
Make no mistake, today, I could go without using MySpace & Facebook if I truly wanted, they serve no purpose to me, and I would prefer not to get too involved with the internet like the Mainstream. I use MySpace because just in case Jake no longer has a phone, and he has another way to contact me, but also to keep in contact with other friends as well. I use Facebook because of mainly family, that also includes my neighbor Amy, I added some friends, I figured it couldn’t hurt, and I accepted some requests from classmates who I had no personal problems with. I honestly don’t need either of those 2 websites, but I use them because they are convenient to others around me. At some point I will delete my MySpace after I move, Jake has a Facebook, and I will keep that around after I move because of family. Plus, after I move, I will probably start deleting classmates & whoever, I always have a policy, and it’s very simple, I don’t add people for fun, but I add them to talk. As a side note, I am deleting some people also because I want to slowly shed away the skin of my past as I step forward to my future, but still keep in touch with family & those close to me. I am looking forward to Rhode Island & the Community College; the northeast end of the United States has always been peaceful, and full of positive energy.
I have come a long way; it’s time for a change, time to start anew, new community, new schools, new friends, new girls, and new churches. I do appreciate my family & my good neighbor Amy Waldron, but as of Michigan in general, I am getting sick of always living here, and putting up with the same bull****. Sooner or later this was bound to happen, and now that moment has arrived, my chance to leave here & take full control of my life, there will be obstacles in my path, but I won’t back down, I can’t, I won’t! Who knows where my life will take me? Will I find more True Friends? Will I finally find True Love? I will do what it takes to achieve what I truly want, and ever since I was a child I never cared what others thought of me. As proof I chased an ice cream truck in a towel down the street when I was a kid, and that doesn’t the least bit bother me, but I got what I wanted, Ice Cream. Whatever the choice may be, I never consider what the public or school thinks of me, that’s always been my thinking, it’s my life, I do stupid or crazy things my way, and you should mind your own business. Others like me do abnormal things every now & again, there are people who will judge & make fun of you, this only shows they have no life, and they are closed minded fools. No one is perfect, but as long as you get the job done, or you get what you want, is being abnormal such a bad thing? NO!
I have let go of my anger & bitterness, but I will continue to be an open-minded good person when I move to Rhode Island. I eagerly await January 18th……
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The Cursed Blogs
These blogs are my personal thoughts & feelings on life, but by clicking on them, you are interested in what I have to say, and you cannot say I pushed my beliefs onto you.
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Curse87
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