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Well if you can tell i havent written in my diary for a while so i have alot to talk about. I read Breaking Dawn heart , it came the same day it came out. man was that a twist, she had a baby. i still cant wait for twilight to come out. It was so funny when Jake imprinted on bella's baby.
Why am i alive. i'm just a waste of space, i cant do anything right. Why is it when i wish or prey or hope for something it doesnt come true. like not being shy or going to a broading school how hard would it be for somone to make that happen. And i know that if i died or went in a coma no one would miss me. i'm too quiet no one seems to notice me. You know i should get a prize for acting cause i'm great, because no one seems to notice that i pretty much just always act happy. there r the time where i am happy but they dont come much. One night i just want to go to sleep and not wake up, dont get me wrong i dont want to die this may be surpiseing but i like to live and i want to but one night i just want to go to sleep and fall into a coma, see if any one would miss me like i know they wont.
I wish i could say what i want, i really dont like being shy cry . One day i just want someone to notice me and take me out of the darkness and lonlyness. but who am i kidding i'll never find my soulmate if they even is something like that.
Maybe I should run away to the darkness and just hide away with no emotions. What the hell that would be nice but it would never happen to me its to good and good things dont seem to want to happen to me. I'm just cursed to be in so much pain forever alone. I think i'm going to stop here i'm sleepy so i think im going to bed, you know whats wierd is i'm sleeping more then ever. i go to bed around 9 pm wake up about 7:30 AM then take a nap around 1 or 2 PM then Wake Around 5, 6, ot 7 pm more to 6 and 7. well night.
O ya i think Dustins cheating on my. when i was talking to him on the phone he was eating and i dont think he knew i could here but he asked his mom ih Amanda could spend the night, She said i dont think her parents would let her, then he should maybe come over. Who is this Amanda. WEll i dont care if i did i would but for the life of me i just dont. but thats who i am. still around when school starts i think i'll break up with him and i will try my best not to b shy about!!!!!!!!!!!! whee