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OK i'm in the middle of working on my Homework, Algebra right now but I love to multi task so i thought that it was a good idea to right a new entry.

I'm starting to feel more useless again, I think for a while I started to be pretty happy but now I'm feeling that nothingness, that emptiness that I so tried to get gone. I dont know why but i feel like i want to go into a coma. I talk less to even my BEST friend Rebecca. I kind of dont want to be depressed anymore. I want to be happy, I want to live but the more I think about stuff like that I just get more cold. I'm getting a little sad because I think something is wrong with my head and i'm going to the hospital to get my head checked out on the 16th.

I'm afraid. I don't want something to be wrong with my head but at the same time I do. Though if something is wrong with my head it could get my eyes worse or worse i could become blind. Right now my eyes are hurting and I have a small head ache, i'm also pretty tired but thats probably from the two sleeping pills I took so when I finish my homework I can just go to bed.

I can hear my parents start to fight but I really dont know what its about, but I' pretty sure that they wont fight for to long.

John S. is going out with Maddi and I think they make a cute couple though at lunch they could have sat a little bit closer because when John sat by me at lunch we usually don't have any space. Maybe now since he got the girl he likes, Maddi, he'll stop touching and licking me. I really didn't mind when he did but I dont want people getting mad at me. Yes I like John but since Maddi and some of my other friends like him I wont try. Though its a little weird since today he asked me to have sex with him since were friends. I think he was kidding which is good, I think.

I think I like this kid named Gage. He is So so so HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's in the 10th grade, he loves metal, turning 16 in a couple of days, and his fav color is green. I dont know if he like me but he also has never met me face to face, he goes to Western where Dustin, My Ex goes, but he hangs out with Sean Styles.

God I just wish I could run away from this place but I wouldnt know were to go.

Well I think i'm going to try and finish my homework cause i'm like super tired so Night.