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Last ******** night or early this morning whatever you want to call it.
It was a lot of fun.
I went to Jessie's.
I ran into Jason's girlfriend Kimberly.
I didn't brutally murder her even though we were alone in the street.
I didn't kiss her despite her being the biggest slut I know and knowing it would break Jason.
I didn't trip this homeless guy.
I didn't sloppy drunk.
I didn't mix my new sleeping pills with alcohol.
I didn't feel the feeling today.
That's what this is leading too.
Of course that was yesterday.
Today's today, and all my demons began in home.
At least that's what the therapist used to say.
Now I'm getting a bit drunk.
I'm feeling the feeling.
Everyone's sleeping.
I'm getting pretty horny.
Rape would fall way down the list though.
There's so many other things I could do to the human body.
It's so much more interesting than other types.
Well maybe because I am human.
I'm tired of myself.
David left some pot here.
I could smoke that as well.
Maybe that way if I get caught I could use the age old excuse.
It wasn't me.
I wasn't under the right mind.
I would never do anything like that.
With my big fake ******** smile.
And mostly everyone would believe it.
I've lied to you and myself already.
I did feel the feeling yesterday.
Especially around Kimberly.
I've never wanted to ******** someone so bad just to choke the s**t out of them.
Obviously I don't want to choke her in the good way.
I'm not attracted to her at all, but Jason is.
I love to piss that guy off.
He just looks so funny.
******** retard.
I usually despise milk, but I love it with vodka.
Every time I begin to feel like this the voices come first.
Then they materialize because that's what the ******** they do.
The things they would have me do.
Oh I realize how horrible they are.
My head hurts.
The sweat is quenching every feeling in my mind.
They want me to succumb.
Your agony is bliss
Pure virgin held down.
Trust me.
I'll give you everything.
I'm going weak.
Honestly though...
Now that I think about it a little bit.
I wouldn't murder a virgin.
That's so played out.
I need huge sluts with gaping holes.
Gutter sluts who sell themselves for the stupidest things.
Or better yet someone who enjoys it.
After all it isn't fun unless everyone's happy.
I'm just kidding.
It's only fun if I'm successfully pacified.
At least for that time being.
But hell these days I'm fine with just a little distraction.
Anything to make these ******** things go away.
Is it possibly to end something that doesn't exist?
******** ********.
You want ******** lust!?
I'm ******** pathetic.
To this pathetic ******** world.
I see with bloodshot eyes.
Am I making any ******** sense here?
Do I ever make any ******** sense?
Why do I always feel so ******** hot.
I can't stop shaking.
It's like a violent orgasm.
Only I'm only slightly pleasured.
I can't say I'm fully erect, but I also can't say it isn't leading in that direction.
Even the things I hate the most I can ********.
******** myself.
Hah.
See what I did there.
Of course you did.
What a long ******** night this is going to be.
I'm going to have to lock myself away again.
I can't trust myself.
"If you keep this up I'm going to rip it off."
"Mom dad I'm sorry."
"You're going to be sorry."
Ahhh..such wonderful..bonding..
I love my parents.
Love them to death.