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it's happening again I hate being parinoid but it's happening again and I don't think im being parnoid. I still have suspsion that this guy likes my friend. it hurt's but im trying to get over it. im trying to just not let myself get botherd by him. It's just I hurt when I see him cause I can't be with him and I hurt when I don't see him cause I miss him. See im causeing myself pain. Im such an idoit. Im hoping on april the 4th things won't hurt as much. April the 4th is me and my ex's anaversaty of when we agreed to go out. March the 26th is when I told him how I felt and I guess took his first kiss. im stupid and selfish. That's the day that I performed in the play "ALKY". I don't think he rember's that day or even april the 4th. he doesn't rember that on april the 4th then maybe that little bit of hope inside of me will be crushed and I can not hurt as much when I see him. I can't say Im friends with him cause I can never see him as a friend and when I try I cry cause I can't and I think of why then the memories flow through me. I have only had like two or three memories as to wear they didn't make me cry when I tought of him. I guess i'll be better off when that little speeck of hope is dead or maybe If I was.

Posted by: Happypanda Fri Mar 25, 2005 @ 05:19am

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Death-Fish
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Commented on: Fri Mar 25, 2005 @ 05:56am


	sigh several things..... i would put my monny on that he does remember..... maybe not the date.... but i can almost garentee the day..... u blam all this on urself.... yet its not ur fault..... hope is what keeps a lot of people alive.... i know because im one of thes dreamers too.... the only thing i see selfish about this is the suicide....if u fell that everyone is so against u, that nobody cares and the hole world wants u that way and u fell that u have nothing else ahead of u.... then buy all means go and make the biggest mistake u possibly can..... thats all i got to say.........

Commented on: Sat Apr 02, 2005 @ 11:31pm


	I'd agree with that Death-Fish guy, the only selfish thing would be suicide, though, i can say this, you shouldn't dwell on the past it'll only cause you more pain you have to keep moving forward and thats all.

Cloud StrifeX
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