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I tend to write in spurts, and well today its about that time to write down my thoughts. So they have turned back into boy thoughts. I thought I had things in control. I did the grown up thing by ending it with one person because of the lack of passion and no spark to make anything happen. Then I started begin things with a person who I felt comfortable around. I even hung out with person that led to a steamy make out. Yep I felt passion. But of course there is always something to make things a bit complicated.

In high school I was friends with a lot of guys and there happened to be on who I sorta had a crush on and at the same time I just kept it all friendship. After I graduated he made it known he had a crush on me yet he was with somebody else. Being my personality I stopped making the effort to talk because he was with somebody and I didn't want to feel like I would invade. Right so he and I have not talked in a few years. Well a few weeks ago I hung out with a friend of his because of my sister, and so I asked about how he was and got his number. Well after texting he came to visit me at work yesterday. Yep I missed the guy, and when he hugs me I feel like I finally got the hug that makes me feel loved and wanted at the same time. Like its a complete hug and nothing was missing from it. Then he was saying that we should be dating, and said he would treat me right. Yep such a sweet talker. Plus the first guy in a long while to come visit me at work.

So here is the dilemma
Two boys, one who is ten years older than me, and one who is about one year younger. I want to try to see where it would go with the older guy, but at the same time I feel like its not going to work since I believe all he wants is to screw around. And the other I just feel like something should just happen one day. So lets see what happens in the next few days, and hope for the best.

Until next time.