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Ugh... feel like crap. Mybe it's cause I'm tired. I just worked a 10 hour shift and it sucked. And, since it was in Rice Lake, I ended up being gone for 14 hours. Right around this time is when things start really sucking for me. It's like January is the worst month of my year, every year. It was just six months ago that everything was perfect. There was one person who cared about me who I thought I could hold on to forever. Now I wonder if she even cares half as much as she used to. It sucks. All I need is someone to care. Someone I know I can run to, but there just isn't anyone. There was another person I thought would care about me... but she doesn't. I'm just a thing... a tool... and nothing I do matters to her. I don't think this is fair. Why am I the one who cares for people and everyone just craps all over it... Especially the people I'm caring for!!! I'm tired of not meaning anything to anyone. I mean, seriously! I DO have a life and problems and issues and all that, but since no one really cares to know me at all and when I do complain (which isn't half as much as some people seem to think) people get on me like I'm not suppose to be upset. Okay... I know not everyone thinks this way... but the ones who do care and don't get on me about problems have this... tinge of uncomfortability. And yeah, I know God cares too. He always will, but it's awful hard going through life not thinking you're worth much to anyone. I feel tired all the time... it's because I'm holding other people up all the time. I don't even care about me, I mean, other people are more important. Anyway, my point is that I'm holding people up... and there isn't a soul on this Earth that is helping hold me up anymore. I had one other person and now I don't have them. Their gone. As far as I'm concerned, that part of her is dead and now I'm left with some other person who says they care and it's only because they know some part of them used to. Well, whatever, I'm sure people are reading this and thinking that I'm over reacting, or being over dramatic, or whatever. Well, that's fine, at least I got the feelings out there and I'm not holding them in as much. Anyhoo, I gots ta get some sleep. I'm dead tired from work.

Laters,
Jordan