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Well, today was okay. I had a lot of fun with my brother today. Me and my sister hung out too. Me and her sort of stuck to out own things today. When she was on the computer I'd be playing Playstation and then we would watch Smallville for a while. I have a new game. It rocks my socks right the heck off. There's so much cool stuff in there. My friends got it for me. Funny how that works, he's leaving and yet he buys me something. Well, that's the way they are and that's one of the reasons they became two of my best friends so quickly. Justin being gone will suck... he has my same sense of humor and I can share laughs with him easier than I can with most people. Nessa too. Joking around with her is just as fun (Would you like to see my... padded room!?) I'll miss the hell out of him. I'm glad I can be sad he's going. Someone almost ruined that. And I'm sure Nessa will give her more crap than I will. Anyway, I don't need to talk about that.
I'm bummed that Nikki is leaving. She may not be 100% supportive, but I still always knew she was there. It was a comforting thought knowing that if life fell to pieces I could always find her and be safe. With her gone and Adrea being all... well, the way Adrea is and me not being on exactly great footing with Nessa... I feel vulnerable. Those are the three people that I... don't want to admit it, but I need at least one of them around to feel safe. Right now all three of them just don't have their eyes on me and it feels pretty bad. I miss them. I even miss Adrea... even though she threatened me something awful... I still miss her. I miss Nikki even though she prioritizes things over me that I think aren't really worth it. And of course I miss my Nessa..... I never thought me and her could be this distant, but it seems that's the way it is for now. I feel a large part of that hangs on me. I don't know the specifics of how I messed this up, but I did. Anyway, how is got this way doesn't even matter to me at the moment. I just want to know how to fix it. I'm sad. It's the most discriptive thing my autistic brain can come up with about how I feel. I'm sad. When I was playing that game and I was doing the awesomest, most violent things I've seen in a game... I missed the comments I knew she'd say and the ohh and ahh noises that would have come with the severe beating of these poor creatures. I almost don't want to play it because it doesn't feel right not having my best friend there. I think I'll just stick to Radiata Stories for now.
Anyway, I'm tired as hell and being sad makes me even more tired. I think I'll call it a day for now. I'll be alright, I suppose. Besides, my little brother has been super kick a** lately. I've laughed harder with him in the last few days than I have in a while. He's been good at cheering me up. Anyhoo, goodnight.

Jordan